Things to make you go ‘I do’.

What Really Goes Down On The Wedding Night (Erm… In Between The Sheets)

Ever wondered how many couples actually consummate their marriage on the wedding night? Well, we’re weird, so we did. The results came in when we asked you guys on Instagram and we’re sitting at a solid 49% for a hell yes we got freaky, and a cool 51% who said hell no, most likely because of being too drunk and/or tired. Fair, we say.

So then, naturally, we decided to take it to the next level and asked our audience to share their stories anonymously. Safe to say we were in stitches, so we’ve put all of the replies in one handy blog post below, purely for the laughs. Enjoy.

  • “Yes, but fell asleep straight away. Let’s just say, I could’ve used a cleanup… and by the time my husband came back from the loo an hour later, things were shall we say sticky. Why an hour later? Because he passed out on the toilet. So romantic!”.
  • “Did it out of tradition-sake but passed out immediately afterward. Hardly remember.”
  • “1 am Maccas with our bridal party on the lounge room floor. Not a bad end to the day.”
  • “We actually had a sneaky romp in between ceremony and party, a quick visit to the cabin!”
  • “I fell asleep in my gorg lingerie after flipping through our guestbook together.”
  • “Every intention! Both passed out in the spa at 2 am. Woke up very cold and wrinkled. Sexy.”
  • “My newly appointed husband passed out on the bathroom of the afterparty then spewed in the box my bouquets had come in that morning sitting next to the bed. Wasn’t the sexiest…”
  • “45 minutes of nakedness trying to get the bobby pins out of my hair then got busy, I think it was good…”
  • “I was sick with a chest infection and couldn’t breathe. Well, he fell asleep.”
  • “I fell asleep at the afterparty and the hubby was too drunk to carry me to bed so I slept on the couch.”
  • “Definite no lol! He was too smashed. we got Maccas, hew was adamant about watching mission impossible. Fell asleep 6 minutes in, spewed every hour into the flower box, the stinkiest wedding night I’d say.”
  • “Aunt flo came to visit, so no!”
  • “Hubby had to prop me up in the elevator back to the hotel room…  does 4am count?”
  • “Haha no. My husband kept calling his groomsmen to get a kebab.”
  • “Two virgins trying to figure things out. But we did okay!”
  • “There were two king-sized beds in our apartment. My husband suggested one each!”
  • “Trying to be adventurous so we used anal beads. A lot of disinfectant later. Never again.”
  • “All 2 minutes of it was great!”
  • “I had a friend who said she was going to do the backdoor experience for her wedding night. We all flipped out and had told her our accidental slip stories / intentional and fair to say she changed her mind fast. Her hubby actually tripped on her dress walking back to the room and banged his head and had a light concussion so they played cards for three hours before bed.”
  • “It was the 1st time for both of us. I reacted to the lube and my vag burned for an hour!”
  • “We had a three-month-old! So we kept drinking and cuddled to sleep instead. Was rad. Totes fireworks.”
  • “If you didn’t get Maccas on your wedding night, are you even married?”


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26th November, 2019

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