Here’s something interesting.
“How to propose to your bridesmaids” is a question we get asked a lot. Often by brides-to-be who care deeply about the people in their lives and are looking for inspiration and ideas beyond Google’s search results for ‘how to ask your friend to be a bridesmaid’. It’s a fair question, given most people have never done it before and one we’re happy to shine some light on. Here’s our take on popping the big (or OK, smaller) question…
Featured image: Smitten Wedding Photography.
Proposing to your bridesmaids… what’s that?
As we touched on above, proposing to your bridesmaids simply refers to the act of asking the people you’ve chosen to have by your side on your wedding day a very specific and important question: will you be my bridesmaid?
Why make it a special moment?
Asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a declaration of love – a way to acknowledge and honour the special relationship you and that person share. For that reason, it warrants putting some thought into how you do it. That doesn’t mean it has to be fancy – just thoughtful.
Do you even need to have bridesmaids for your wedding?
The long and short of it is no, you don’t. It’s an entirely personal decision and there is certainly no right or wrong. In fact, plenty of couples are choosing to buck tradition and create their own version of a ‘wedding party’ (see our Instagram reel on the evolution of wedding parties here) or forego the idea of a wedding party altogether.
That said, if you are having bridesmaids (or groomsmaids or bridesmen) for your wedding, it’s nice to use this opportunity to make them feel special right from the start of your wedding planning journey and let them know how much they mean to you.
Ideas on how to propose to your bridesmaids
Being a bridesmaid is a commitment. Very generally speaking, it’s their job to organise your hen’s party and/or kitchen tea and there are usually some costs involved. You might also ask them to help you find your dream dress, say a speech or clean cattle skulls (true story).
And while it’s probably a much easier question for them to answer than one you’ve asked in the past like, “what do you think of [insert deadbeat ex’s name here]?” or “do you want to go to the gym?”, it’s nice to put some thought into how you pop the question. Here are some ideas:
- Take them out for a coffee, brunch, dinner, high tea etc. and just ask them.
- Send flowers with a card or a cake with the question iced on it.
- Create your own personalised ‘will you be my bridesmaid?’ card.
- Send an online gift pack.
- Have them over for pizza and sneakily write the question on the underside of the pizza box lid before you put them on the table so when they open them they get a surprise.
- Go out for a wine and just ask them – tell them how much they mean to you, how amazing they are and how much you would love it if they would stand by your side on the day.
- Think about what each individual woman (or man) is interested in and create an ask-opportunity based on a passion of theirs. For example, if one is massively bookish, you could send a beautiful book to their home with an appropriate message and tuck a card inside.
- Have something they would like personalised – a cute pair of undies, a nice bottle of wine, a piece of jewellery, a candle – and an accompanying card.
- Send them on a scavenger hunt with each clue alluding to a memory, personal joke or secret you share.
- DIY your own bridesmaid boxes.
- Create a photo album of all the memories you’ve shared together and include the question at the end.
- Buy a mug with ‘will you be my bridesmaid’ on the bottom and make them a cup of tea.
When to pop the question
We don’t think there should be a set-in-stone rule when it comes to when you should pop the question – it’s entirely up to you. But as a guide, we always think it’s best not to dilly-dally for too long if possible. Otherwise it can get a bit awkward (especially because it’s one of the first questions people will ask not only you but your closest friends) and as the day creeps closer vendors such as your hair and makeup artists will need to know final numbers.
Already popped the question and need a hand finding the ultimate bridesmaid gift? Head here for ideas.