Ewww money. It can feel so awkward asking for it at the best of times, let alone from the people who are nearest and dearest to you.

Why is it so awkward?

Asking for cash as a wedding gift can feel gross, even though most guests expect to make a contribution via a wishing well or online wedding registry (and are happy to do so). We think it stems from the fact that you don’t want to just presume that people are keen to give you something because you’re getting married, whether that be money or a gift. It can feel obnoxious and self-entitled. We get it.

And it doesn’t help that when you try and Google “nice ways to ask for money for your wedding”, a whole bunch of frankly, rather disgusting rhymes will appear. Take this one, for example.

“To save you looking, shopping or buying.
Here is an idea, we hope you like trying.
Come to our wedding, to wish us both well.
And bring this small sack, to throw in our wishing well.
Fill it with paper all colours will do, gold is our favourite but silver will do.
Now that we have saved you, all of that fuss.
We hope you will come, and celebrate with us.”

Fill it with paper? Gold is our favourite? Just, fuck. These kind of ditties have the unfortunate effect of further enhancing the panic and discomfort you feel about asking for cash. At least they did for us.

When is the best time to address the topic?

The good news here is that you get to tackle this part of the wedding planning early. Guests prefer to know from the beginning what your expectations or wishes around gifts are and for this reason, we strongly recommend including something about it on your wedding invitations or website. Keeping reading for some ideas on how you might word this.

Even if you haven’t set up an online wedding registry (or similar) at the time your invitations go out, at least put something in writing that lets your guests know there will be a wishing well or registry so that they don’t go out and buy you a gift prematurely.

How do we make asking for money less awks?

Firstly, we need to get something straight.

As we touched on briefly above, the majority, if not all, of your guests want to give you a gift. It’s a longstanding tradition. And while we’re all about foregoing tradition when it comes to weddings, this one is probably sticking around.

We say this with the hope that it helps you feel a bit more relaxed about the whole gift-receiving situation in general.

Now, back to resolving the issue of asking for money for your wedding day. Here’s what we’d suggest.

• Include a short, tasteful message with your invite. Leave the rhymes alone and just roll with something heartfelt and simple. For example,

“Your presence at our wedding is honestly the best present we could ask for. If you did wish to contribute to our honeymoon, we’ll have a wishing well there on the day. Love and thanks.”

or

“Please know gifts are not expected (we’re genuinely just excited to have you share our day) but if you would like to help us kickstart married life, there are a few things we’re saving for. Some cash for us to put towards them would be the ultimate gift.”

Keep things uncomplicated. Also, keep in mind that in this day and age, people generally expect to give a cash gift, so don’t stress.

• Alternatively, you could set up an online wedding registry like Gravy – a platform purposefully centred around how to tactfully ask for money as a wedding gift. It’s rather neat and as well as cash, you can ask for literally anything – even things like help in the garden that don’t cost a cent. Find out how it works here.

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NEXT UP:

What to include on your wedding invitations.

Discover We Do Crew: the wedding planning membership that’s like having a wedding planner in your pocket.

Set up an online wedding gift registry over at Gravy: it’s the most unique, heart-felt registry in the world.